W.A.L.T write a recount about the holidays !!
Wednesday 23 May 2018
8 comments:
To support my learning I ask you to comment as follows:
1. Something positive - something you like about what I have shared.
2. Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what I had to say
3. Something thoughtful - how have you connected with my learning? Give me some ideas for next time or ask me a question.
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Hi there Jorja my name is Chloe, from YMS school I love how you did it in a slide it is really good. Did you ever get car sick and did you get bored in the car? And is Brielle your sister. Did you get burnt in the hot pools they are so hot. I have been in there with my family we own a house up there. I also love how you did not do it in one hole story this is awesome.
ReplyDeleteYours sincerely Chloe from YMS school.
Hey Chloe, thank you for your comment
DeleteHi Jorja,
ReplyDeleteI like how you made the story funny by saying AHHHHH it's HOT! Is it realy that hot? Any way, the colours were made the slide eye catching. Also, your Dad speeding was unexpecting. I love twisting ends.
This reminds me of going to Hammer Springs myself, it was a school camp. In the lazy river, I played tag with everyone else. Also, the cooking was DELICOUS! It was the first time I had nacos!
What was the best part of your trip?
From Mika
Yaldhurst Model School
Link to Blog http://ymsmika.blogspot.co.nz/
Hey Mika, thank you for your comment
DeleteHi Jorja! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School, I really like the effort you have put into this piece of writing.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part were you told us about was the waterslide, you must of had an excellent time at Hanmer springs, it brought me back when I went to school camp to Hanmer springs too, it was a Blast!
If you are hoping on writing a recount, try writing in the past tense that way we know that you have already done it. The past tense is using time connectives like then, after that, and Finally and many more other interesting ones too.
Awesome effort!
Mia
Hey Mia, thank you for your comment
DeleteHi Jorja,
ReplyDeletethis is Moni from room 6, I like how you have written about Hanmer springs, it is a very great way to write about your recount, you have a creative idea about using a slideshow. The thing I like the most is how you have written a title for each of them so that we know what we are up to. next time can you please check you grammar because in the third slide. Besides all great work.
Hey Moni, thank you for your comment
Delete